The Many Hats of Motherhood

By Penelope Garbe

LIFE MATTERS
The Newsletter of the Respect Life Office of the Diocese of Rockford
Patricia Pitkus Bainbridge, Director Rev. David A. Peck, Spiritual Director
555 Colman Center Drive Rockford, Illinois 61108 815.877.LIFE
www.rockforddiocese.org/respectlife
May 2006 Volume v no.8

When is a mother not just a mother? When she is a teacher, a nurse, a chauffeur, a confidant, or a disciplinarian. These are just some of the hats that I wear in my vocation as the mother. And with four children, I imagine that most mothers can relate to the hectic chaos that is life in the day of a mother.

On a day in June, after graduating from college, I married my high school sweetheart and began my life as a wife. It was in the early 70s when women were told that they could do anything, be anything, and could have it all - whatever that means. Even television commercials sold this bill of goods.

I remember a popular television jingle that showed a woman singing, "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man". The jingle defined the "complete" woman who could juggle all her roles as wife, mother, and homemaker, and she never even had a hair out of place! So, with a wedding ring on one hand and a college diploma in the other, I was on my way, determined to be all that I could be!

God had other plans
But the career I had planned turned out not to be the one God had in mind for me! His plan was much different. When our first daughter arrived in the first year of our marriage, any thoughts of a career outside of the home vanished. And, as it turned out, I loved wearing the hats of wife and mother. We were thrilled to be starting our family, so when our beautiful baby girl arrived with her rosy cheeks and dark eyes, we were very happy.

We took great pleasure in watching her accomplish all the "firsts" that fill a parent's heart with pride. We watched as she became mobile, first rolling, then crawling, and finally walking. Before we knew it, she was decorating her face with her food, speaking her first words, and exploring her world as a toddler. Along with her mobility and curiosity came the bumps, bruises, and skinned knees. This was the period when I added the nurse's hat to my wardrobe. Soon her scooting around on the floor turned into running on the soccer field; dancing at her prom; visiting college campuses; and becoming a wife and mother.

Additions to the family
A couple years later, her first sister arrived. It was an experience reminiscent of a television situation comedy. Barely arriving at the hospital in time, I was immediately wheeled into the delivery room. The doctor, delivery nurse, and I anxiously waited for my husband who was delayed filling out necessary paperwork.

Finally, the obstetrician phoned the business office and ordered them to send him up immediately because our baby was on her way! Her spirit and her excited arrival became the spirit of her personality to this day. She grew into a determined little girl with a mind of her own; today, she would be labeled 'strong-willed'!

Trying to stay a step ahead of her was a challenge that made me feel like a marathon runner- another hat in my collection. And she was always trying to keep up with her big sister.

One day, her determination to keep up with her older sister had me adding another hat to my collection; that of a lifeguard. While swimming one summer afternoon, I watched as she headed after her sister into water that was over her head. I dashed to rescue her when I saw her bobbing in the water.

And watching her grow, I witnessed that determination serve her well in everything she did- whether in academics or in extra-curricular activities. And now as a wife and mother, I see this same determination helping her in her new roles. Several years later, our son was born in a panicked, emergency delivery. Thankfully, with God's divine intervention, he arrived happy and healthy when, in another time, he probably would not have survived. He was a gifted little guy who would grow into a good student, accomplished athlete, and loyal friend. He also helped me become a better nurse tending not only to his skinned knees and sprained joints, but also to his recovery from several surgeries. He was gifted with compassion for others and was often seen helping other students with their work. This quality will stay with him throughout his life as husband and father and friend.

Fourteen months later, our last little girl arrived. She was a blessing that God knew we needed. Through my pregnancy, I wondered how I was going to handle two little ones so close in age, but putting it all in the hands of God gave me the comfort I needed. Our little girl loved to sing and dance play with her dolls. But most of all, she loved to talk and her Dad's favorite command for her was "take a breath". As she grew, her love for music grew. She learned to play the piano and she developed a wonderful singing voice that would lead to roles in her high school musicals. And through those high school years, I was biggest fan and her audience when she rehearsed her parts.

Leaving the nest
As each child went off to college, phone conversations became our means of catching up. Dad would sometimes grouse about the phone bills, but I reminded him that it was cheaper than having to pay a psychiatrist. Without fail, each would experience tough classes and heartache. And I saw our calls as my time to be mentor, confidant, and cheerleader.

Those experiences involved listening, giving advice, and maybe even sharing tears. But whether they had a skinned knee or a broken heart, I hurt as much as they did. Today our lives are not much different. Our children are all grown and on there own, but the phone continues to ring with regularity. The topics of conversation have changed. Now they range from moments of catching up, to hearing about the grandkids newest accomplishments, requesting advice on parenting, or asking for a recipe. These are the things that make being a mom both a rewarding and a challenging vocation.

A treasured gift
My vocation as a mom is my treasured gift from God. He gave me the graces to wear whatever hat was needed. Our children will tell you they didn't have the designer clothes, televisions in their rooms, or even a phone of their own. But they will tell you that we always ate dinner together whether at 5:00 or 8:00. We laughed together and cried together. We prayed together and went to church together. We had routines and rituals that enabled them to build a foundation giving them the confidence to achieve whatever God has in store for them. So whether I was a cheerleader, disciplinarian, nurse, or teacher, I treasure wearing each of the hats I was given.
 

A MOTHER'S LOVE

There are times when only a Mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappointments
And calm all of our fears.

There are times when only a Mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.

There are times when only a Mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.

For a Mother's heart and a Mother's faith
And a Mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from God above.
-Author Unknown-
 

LIFE MATTERS is published monthly by the Respect Life Office of the Diocese of Rockford. It is sent to all priests, seminarians, religious sisters prayer team members, and parish respect life coordinators. Individual subscriptions may be obtained for a donation of $15.00 per year. This publication may be copied so long as it is done in full. It may be quoted so long as proper citation is provided with the quotation. 2006 Respect Life Office-Diocese of Rockford